wanking ears n. Descriptive of the bat-like, heightened sensitivity of hearing achieved by a fellow indulging in a bit of self discipline, allowing him to detect the faint sound of his wife's, girlfriend's, parents' key entering the lock two floors below. 'September 2nd, 1666, Morning. Up betimes, and finding the house deserted, was minded to settle down with a hose for a brief strum over the corsetry pages of Mr. Grattan's estimable catalogue. However, Mrs. Pepys return'd unexpectly, and, had it not been for my wanking ears, would surely have discovered me in a most compromising situation. Afternoon. London burned down.' (from 'The Diary of Samuel Pepys').